You Are the Reason
by DoctorMerlinReid
Summary: "I'd climb every mountain and swim every ocean, just to be with you and fix what I've broken. Oh, cause I need you to see that you are the reason." Wally is Artemis's reason. *Spoilers for the whole show*


**Author's Note: I've recently fallen in love with this song and I felt like it fit with this, so I figured I'd write it. If you haven't heard the song, then make sure to listen to 'You Are the Reason' by Calum Scott. It's beautiful. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'You Are the Reason', nor the show Young Justice**

 _There goes my heart beating_

 _Cause you are the reason_

 _I'm losing my sleep_

 _Please come back now_

Artemis padded through the hallway on silent feet. Her hands were shaking, and her face still felt puffy and gross from crying. She took a shuddering breath when she reached the kitchen. Carefully, she opened a cabinet and grabbed a cup. Moving over the fridge, she filled the cup with water, eyes dull as she watched the cup quickly fill.

This always used to wake Wally up. He'd sleep past her getting out of the bed and walking through the hallways, but he'd somehow hear the water instead even though it was rooms away.

Now, though, the only one who chased after her at three o'clock in the morning to see if she was alright or needed some cuddle time was Brucely. The golden retriever stared at her with big, sad eyes and a drooping tail that had never seemed to wag since the day Wally… People said that dogs weren't smart, but Brucely was smart enough to realize that his master wasn't ever coming home again.

He butted his golden head against back of her calf, startling her and almost making her drop her glass. Putting a hand to her chest, Artemis set down the drink and crouched down. Tears still caught in the back of her throat, Artemis could do nothing but grab Brucely around the middle and hold him. Together, they mourned.

And in that dark, silent moment of mourning (and in every other moment of this pitiful existence she now endured), Artemis remembered every moment of that day. She remembered the way she'd shaken her head and rolled her eyes when Wally had torn out of the room, racing after his mentor and his cousin, always ever so determined to save the world.

The group had raced to the bioship, M'gann always there and ready to fly it and it had felt so much like the old days that Artemis had felt a part of her settle. It had been hard getting back into the fight. It had felt so much like home that Artemis had been afraid that she wouldn't be able to leave again. She didn't know how right she was.

Artemis remembered the way they had made tense jokes while they watched the still beeping dot that indicated an MFD. She was sure that the three speedsters would be able to handle it. It was Barry, Wally, and Bart. The three of them could handle anything. That was the charm of speedsters; they always won, and they always bounced back.

Wally hadn't bounced back this time. When Barry and Bart had come back, and Wally hadn't, Artemis's heart had started pounding. She had hoped and prayed that what was happening wasn't what she'd thought it was. Wally was the reason she was the woman she'd become. Wally was the reason she was still alive in so many ways.

But Wally was gone. He died saving the world. And, in her heart, Artemis knew that was the way that Wally wanted to go. He wanted to die while doing something useful. It didn't make her feel any better.

It didn't help her sleep at night. It didn't stop the nightly nightmares that had her crying on the kitchen floor at three in the morning. It didn't stop her from losing her sleep. She just wanted Wally back. Please, come back now.

 _There goes my mind racing_

 _And you are the reason_

 _That I'm still breathing_

 _I'm hopeless now_

Artemis knew that the Team didn't know how to handle her the way she was. Tigress just wasn't the same person that Artemis was, and they didn't know what to do with that. Regardless, Artemis wasn't going to change back. She couldn't.

It was like she'd told them, Artemis was Wally's partner. Without Wally, there was no Artemis.

Tigress was vicious. She didn't let others slow her down. She was a lot like a colder version of the Artemis that had first joined the Team all those years ago. Honestly, Tigress was a lot like Cheshire. Artemis wasn't sure she liked that comparison, but she couldn't refute it.

It wasn't necessarily that Artemis wanted to be colder and shut people out. It was just that she didn't see the point anymore. Why get close to them when they would just leave her like Wally did? She didn't want to lose another person she loved. It was too much all at the same time. There was something about losing the one you love that felt a little bit like your soul had been ripped out. There weren't any actual words to explain it, and Artemis wasn't sure she cared enough to try.

It had been a long time since she'd cared enough to try anything.

Wally had saved her life more times than she could count, always jumping in front of her or pushing her out of the way on missions. He was there for her. He was the reason that she was still breathing. And now, without him, it hurt to try breathing. Every painful breath was a reminder of the thing she had lost. How could she possibly divert energy to caring about things, to being nice to people when she had to focus everything she had on pushing air into and out of her lungs every day. She wasn't going to waste this life that her love had given her.

At the same time, by separating herself from others, by falling apart by herself, wasn't she still wasting her life? Wasn't that throwing away the life Wally gave to her? But if she tried to be there with the others, would she even continue to go on? She was hopeless now.

 _I'd climb every mountain_

 _And swim every ocean_

 _Just to be with you_

 _And fix what I've broken_

 _Oh, cause I need you to see_

 _That you are the reason_

Artemis went through a phase about three months after Wally's death. She had been, briefly, firmly convinced that he hadn't died. He was a hero. He was a _speedster_. They don't die. They just don't. It was practically a rule. Jay was in his eighties and looked like he was fifty. Max was older than he was and looked about the same age. They all aged slow and they all bounced back and healed fast and they just didn't die.

So, it made sense that Wally didn't die either. How could he die if none of the other speedsters did? Besides, Wally had been alive in Bart's time. Sure, Bart had come back in time with the specific purpose of changing the future, but that didn't mean that everything had changed. Wally was still alive.

Artemis had proof, too! There was no body and no ashes on the ground. If he'd been vaporized, then there certainly would have been some sort of sign, right? Some ashes, some left over bits of clothes. There was nothing, though. That meant that he was sent somewhere or something. Speedsters had that Speed Force thing, right? Wally had mentioned that the Flash had almost gotten stuck in there one time by running too fast. What if Wally's running with the MFD discharging energy into him got him stuck in the Speed Force? That had to be it!

No one believed her, though. No one understood that she had to find him because he was still alive, and it was all her fault that he wasn't there. If she hadn't been so set on college, so determined to be normal, he wouldn't have even come up with the idea of leaving the hero life. If he'd never left the hero life, he might have been faster. The MFD might not have discharged onto him.

So, she needed to make it up to him by finding him even though everyone else had given up on him. She hadn't given up and she wasn't going to.

Artemis climbed mountains and waded through rivers and trekked through forests to talk to every single person she could to get information about the Speed Force. Jay and Barry either couldn't or wouldn't tell her much about it, so she'd been forced to find alternate avenues.

She needed to find Wally. She needed to find him and see him, and be with him again.

She needed to tell him sorry and to say that she loved him back and that she never wanted him to pull something so stupid again. She needed him to see that he was the reason.

 _There goes my hands shaking_

 _And you are the reason_

 _My heart keeps bleeding_

 _I need you now_

Artemis inevitably realized she was wrong. Wally was dead. There was no coming back from what had happened to him.

Like a scared little girl, Artemis had run home to her mother and just cried. Her mom was happy that she was back, but didn't know how to comfort her, didn't know how to take away that pain.

When Artemis gave up her hunt, she also gave up Tigress for a little while. She just took the time to be with her mother and appreciate what she still had. Briefly, painfully, she considered taking up the mantle of Artemis again, but she couldn't do it. Her hands shook when she grabbed a bow, the familiar curves and ridges melding with her fingers and fitting perfectly the way Wally's hands had always done in her own.

So, instead of picking up either mantle, Artemis got a real job and started saving kids a different way, as a social worker for kids who had been taken away from bad families. She understood how they felt. For a long time, she'd been stuck between hoping that her family would get better and wishing that someone would come and take her away. Eventually, most of her family got better.

Jade was happy with Roy and Lian and her mother was happy now with a new boyfriend. Her father had even slowed down on the criminal activities. He'd gone to Wally's funeral and had been nothing but respectful and sad for their loss. At the time, Artemis had been too lost to appreciate it, but she understood it now and she would be eternally grateful to her father for that.

But, even though she was helping kids and her family had started to come together and, by all rights, she should be happy where she was, Artemis's heart still bled, and she still needed Wally now.

 _If I could turn back the clock_

 _I'd make sure the light defeated the dark_

 _I'd spend every hour, of every day_

 _Keeping you safe_

Time wore on, and Artemis eventually picked up the mantle of Artemis again. She became the emerald archer of Palo Alto and she protected the city that she and Wally had so dearly loved while they'd lived there.

She got on in age and it started getting harder to pull back the bow in time, but she wasn't ready to give up her role as a hero. She was determined to make the most of this life. And, finally, she was starting to accept people back into heart. She spent time with friends and stopped her icy coldness when people reminded her of Wally. Eventually, she started regularly spending time with Barry and Iris who had lost a dearly beloved nephew when she lost her loved one.

This time, when her life started to come together and fit perfectly, she accepted it. When smiles came easily to her face and laughter was a part of everyday life, she accepted it. Artemis could sleep through the whole night and be an archer and work with speedsters and think about Antarctica without wanting to puke, and she accepted it.

That didn't mean that she didn't want to turn back time and change everything. That didn't mean that she wouldn't always wish for the life that was stolen from her by the Reach.

But, she understood that she wasn't going to win that battle. She wasn't going to be able to go back in time and save him and save herself from the darkness. She wasn't going to get the chance to repay him for every time he saved her.

So, instead, she cherished his memory and she saved herself. Artemis knew that he gave up his life, so the rest of the world could live. Every time she saved even the smallest portion of the world, she saved his memory, his legacy. She kept him safe.

 _I'd climb every mountain_

 _And swim every ocean_

 _Just to be with you_

 _And fix what I've broken_

 _Oh, cause I need you to see_

 _That you are the reason_

 _You are the reason_

In the end, as Artemis took her last breath, as she died of natural causes and a long life, she remembered the love of her life and she was happy. She was going to see him again. He was the reason she'd lived as long as she had. He was the reason she had been able to be happy for as long as she was. Wally was the reason.

 **Author's Note: There we go! A kind of bittersweet one-shot that probably wasn't all that well written, but had been niggling at me. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
